The 411 on Wedding Etiquette

Weddings can be a tricky time. Don’t get caught in an awkward position and read up on must-know wedding etiquette before your big day!

Don’t post on social media before calling your grandma

We know that an impending wedding is extremely exciting, but avoid posting to social media before you inform your nearest and dearest. People like children, parents and other family members should absolutely be the first to know. Them finding out on social media can result in hurt feelings and damaged relationships – things you definitely do not want before a big wedding!

Don’t include registry information on your invitees

Your invitation lets guests know how much you love them and want them to be by your side on your wedding day. There should not be any mention of an expectation for a gift, even though, yes, that would be the easiest and most obvious place. It may sound old-fashioned, but word of mouth is still the best way to loop everyone in on your registry. Make sure those closest to you (your parents, his parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen) have your registry details handy, because they will likely receive phone calls and emails from guests with questions about what to get you.

Another way to easily share registry details to your guest list is via a wedding website—which is totally OK to include on your invites. Be sure to list the URL so guests can head there to get all sorts of additional wedding info—location details, directions, attire suggestions, and, of course, your registry.

Don’t make guests wait too long between the ceremony and reception.

If your ceremony and reception are at different venues, do your best to minimize the in-between time. When guests have too much time to kill, they’ll either get hangry or find a nearby café and stuff themselves. Ideally you want your guests to eat, drink, and be merry at your reception, not at a bar they found along the way.

If a large time gap is inevitable, make sure your guests are entertained or have the option of being entertained. You may want to plan an outing—a sightseeing bus tour, maybe?—or set up a hospitality lounge, with drinks and snacks, at the hotel where your guests will be staying (you can include information and directions in the ceremony program). Your main goal is to make sure nobody’s left in the lurch with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

Don’t invite someone to the bridal shower if they aren’t invited to the wedding.

You can’t invite someone to your shower if you are not planning to invite them to the wedding. It would seem like they were good enough to give you a shower gift but not good enough to celebrate with you on your big day. The bridal shower is intended to be a celebration with the bride’s nearest and dearest. So, every shower guest must already be on the wedding guest list.

Don’t skimp on wedding-party gifts.

The best gift you can give your wedding party is a pleasant experience as they help prep for the wedding. However, it’s also important to thank your attendants with a tangible gift to show your appreciation. While every couple’s situation is different, you’ll want to sit down with your fiancé and discuss thank-you presents. One idea is to jointly decide on an appropriate price range per gift, then choose presents accordingly.

Whatever you decide to buy, consider what you’ve been asking financially of your bridesmaids and groomsmen. If they’re dropping $$$ on wedding-related things, then a $20 necklace from Etsy might seem a little ungracious. The amount you spend should convey a sincere gratitude for the effort they have put into your wedding. As a rule of thumb, something between $75 and $150 should suffice.

Don’t clump all your single friends together at one table.

Sure, weddings are a great place to meet people, but don’t throw all your single friends haphazardly at one table. Instead, seat people based on their shared interests, not marital status. Go through your guest list and draw parallels—join up guests with similar hobbies, jobs, or interests. And try to make everyone feel comfortable by offering a mix of familiar and new faces at each table. If your single cousin Jess just got back from a trip to Bali and your married friends Matt and Valerie are headed there next month, seat them at the same table.

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